1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19:4-7; 20:10-13
Levi Skipper, pastor
Concord Baptist Church, Clermont
You were created for friendship. You were created for friendship with God and friendship with others. A life without friends is not what God desires for you. You were not called to live the Christian life alone.
I have discovered over the years that women seem to be quicker at making friends than men. Why? As men, we have bought into what the world teaches about manhood. Manhood is independence. We are taught that we shouldn’t need anyone, and if we do, well that is a sign of weakness. Dare I say, ‘sissy’.
Don’t get me wrong, I see men hanging out to watch games, play softball, and maybe even go out to eat. But the conversation is surface and no one really knows what is going on.
Manhood in Scripture is not portrayed this way at all. We continually run across strong men of God who had deep friendships. In fact David, arguably one of the most manliest men of all, had deep friendships. Yet, he wasn’t living life alone.
In fact, he developed a true friendship with a man named Jonathan. From their friendship, there are at least four steps you can take to forge true friendships in this life.
By the way, these steps are for both men and women.
Be willing to sacrifice – 1 Samuel 18:4
Jonathan saw David in need and was willing to give what he had to help. This is one step in being a friend.
You look out for your friend and when they are in need, you don’t leave them hanging. Is there a person in your life you are willing to give what you have to help them? Even if giving what you have means that you are the one who may go without?
Be quick to defend – 1 Samuel 9:4-5
Friends don’t let others talk negatively about their friend. Jonathan was willing to defend David even to his own father.
There have been times in my life where a friend spoke up on my behalf to correct something said of me that was untrue. When you hear something said about your friend, you don’t automatically assume it is true. You silence the criticism and then talk to your friend.
Be real with them – 1 Samuel 20:41
Jonathan and David wept together. They were willing to let go of their pride and be real with one another. Now, I am not saying that if you don’t cry with someone you aren’t being a real friend. The principle is that you are yourself around them and you give them freedom to be themselves.
You are open and honest about what is going on in your heart. By the way, I can see men shaking their head ‘no’ at this one.
Be an encouragement – 1 Samuel 23:15-16
True friends build one another up. This is just the concept that you see what your friend can do and can be and you encourage that in them. All of us need someone to be an encouragement to us. All of us need to help bring out the best in our friends.
You need friends. The best way to get a friend is to be a friend. These four steps help you in forging friendships that last.