I recall the following saying from my childhood: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Though this phrase has a nice ring to it, nothing could be further from the truth.
A more accurate statement, especially in our day of cyber warfare and political division is the African proverb, “Words are like bullets; if they escape, you can’t catch them again.” Truth be told, throughout time, careless words have done more damage than bullets.
I’m aware of a situation in a family in which two siblings rarely speak because of hateful words that were spoken years ago. You’ve no doubt seen such occurrences in your world as well.
After 41 years of marriage, careless words are more likely to get me in hot water than any other offense (you’d think I would have learned by now).
As I write this column, we are in the midst of a heated election. Caustic quotes, comments, and speeches pour down like a hailstorm, spewing out from both sides. Keenly recognizing the poisonous potential of words, King David, a discerning politician in his day, voiced this petition to the Lord 3000 years ago: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips (Psalm 141:3, NASB).”
I get a little uneasy at times when people around me start taking videos with their phones. And then I realize God hears everything I say. He’s the one I really need to be most concerned about. As Jesus said, “I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36,37, NASB).
The Bible also says, “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison” (James 1:26, 3:8, NASB).
As you consider these verses, ponder these points. First, as my mother often reminded me, “It’s not what you say, it's how you say it.” The tone of our speech can do more damage than the words themselves. I’m prone to turn up the volume when I get passionate about an issue or want to get my point across.
Also, harmful words are often an indication of an unrighteous heart. As Scripture challenges, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV). Addressing a person’s speech specifically, Jesus said, “For his mouth speaks from what fills his heart” (Luke 6:45, NASB). In other words, we’d better get our hearts right if we expect good words to flow forth from our tongues.
On a windy hillside near an English country church sits a gray tombstone, the following words fading with age: “Beneath this stone, a lump of clay, lies Arabella Young, Who on the twenty-fourth of May began to hold her tongue.”
Hopefully, it won’t take such drastic measures for us to begin to hold ours. These words of wisdom will help: “He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles” (Proverbs 21:2, NASB).
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Todd Gaddis has served as a pastor for 34 years, 22 of those in North Georgia. He lives in Athens and can be contacted at jtoddgaddis@gmail.com.