Commentary: 4 steps to becoming a church that welcomes young adults

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Sunday morning! The sun is out, the church doors are unlocked, the AC is on (and working!), and the fellowship hall smells of homemade breakfast. A week has come and gone, and now it’s time to worship and fellowship with the church family.

Halfway through the sermon, you look around the room and notice the same friendly faces but a missing young adult presence. Where are they? How do you get young adults into your church? Do young adults want to attend your church?

The elusive group of “young adults” our churches are trying to reach already exists in our communities. It’s not the tempo of the worship songs, the paint color of the building, or even an old logo that keeps them from attending. We don’t see young adults or understand young adults’ needs and connect with them. Here are four steps to help your church become welcoming for young adults.

1. Define young adults

The first issue with defining young adults is that “young” is relative. Young is not age; it’s a mindset. Using it as a term to reach an age group quickly becomes problematic. While the generally accepted use of the term “young adult” is considered late teens and 20s, a person in that group rarely identifies as young. Only those outside of the group identify them as such.

The term “young adults” is hardly used on search engines, as people don’t type it in to find people like themselves. They use age and life stage words like married or single to self-identify and find community. Rather than define a people group, ask people questions about how they identify themselves so you can better shape language to connect with them.

Use specific, not general, language if you’re trying to define a life stage to communicate within your church and community. If you need to identify young adults, use married, single, gender, and age, not “young adult.”

2. See young adults

Data gets a seat at the table to see young adults. We’ll miss seeing people if we base identifying people on our personal bias. This is true of young adults. Here are a few categories and information to help us see young adults.

  • Collegiate/emerging adults

Typically, we associate college age with 18-22-year-olds. However, the average age for a college student is now 26 years old. So, when you say college student, depending on the schools near you, they’re not “college-aged.”

  • Single, never married

Singles now outnumber married adults in America at 53% of the total population. Three in 5 (61%) adults 18-34 are single, and the average age for marriage is 30 for men and 29 for women. This has increased yearly for the past 25 years, with a major increase since 2007. So, reaching young adults in your community means remembering they’re more single than you may think.

  • Divorced

Nearly 45% of first-time marriages end in divorce, and the average age for a first-time divorce is 29. If we’re going to reach young adults in our community, we need to provide resources to help save marriages and help those healing from divorces.

  • Single parents

Nearly 1 in 4 children in the U.S. live with a single parent. Over 40% of all families are single-parent households, with 80% of those being single mothers. Our children, student, and adult ministries must consider how to reach and engage single parents in their efforts to reach young adults.

Now equipped with national averages of young adults, take a moment to research your local community. As you define young adults near your church, remember to think of people, not programs. Simply starting a ministry with a name doesn’t mean you’ll attract young adults. Focus on providing for and meeting needs to bring the gospel message to young adults near your church. You may find they’re more single than you expected and your church can be a place where they find community.

3. Believe in the local church

Your church can reach young adults. God knew what He was doing when He established the local church to build community and make disciples. Our mandate is to make disciples, and your church can do that with young adults.

Some reading this article have seen this happen through generations of community presence. Established churches of 50+ years exist because the next generation was reached. To continue living out the missional mandate in our local churches, we need to see who young adults are and what needs they have that we can meet in our churches.

  • Young adults are lonely

The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, points out in his 2023 report, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” the true scope of loneliness in America. This report defines loneliness as a feeling of isolation, irrespective of social contact. Here are some interesting findings from this report.

  • Nearly 50% of all adults are considered lonely.
  • People lacking social connection increase premature death by nearly 60%.
  • Loneliness in a person’s life is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
  • Nearly 1 in 3 young adults report feeling lonely frequently or most of the time.

According to Vivek, while we live in the most connected generation ever, loneliness rates have doubled since the 1980s. This points out a longer-term issue, not one that emerged since the COVID-19 pandemic. To reach young adults in our community, our churches must first acknowledge their current reality and connect them to an unchanging biblical mandate of community in the local church.

  • You are the plan

Yes, you and your church. We are called to go and make disciples. Paul also reminds us in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 that we must be all things to all people so that some may accept the gospel. Your church’s ministry, big event, or program are part of making disciples, but they don’t make disciples; Jesus does.

The process of being a disciple who makes disciples happens in biblical community, such as a small group or Sunday School. However, our churches must be able to bring people into these disciple-making pathways. The same U.S. Surgeon’s report speaks to religious involvement.

  • In 1999, 70% of Americans reported that they belonged to a church, synagogue, or mosque. Now, less than half of Americans report religious participation.
  • Young adults’ participation in traditional community structures such as churches has decreased, elevating feelings of isolation and loneliness.
  • Biblical communities are cited as helping to address heart disease, dementia, depression, and mental health.
  • Reading the Bible four or more times a week decreases loneliness by 30%.

The U.S. Surgeon’s loneliness epidemic report points to the local church and other faith communities as the solution to the loneliness crisis. The U.S. government wants us to help young adults in our communities. How will we respond to this request? Connecting people to God’s Word and community is the solution our community needs and we already provide through the local church.

4. Be authentic

Authenticity is the currency of young adults. More than 2 in 5 (45%) young people feel as if no one understands them. To reach them in our churches, we need to help them be noticed, named, and known just as Christ has done for us. When we clarify our mission, vision, and values as the body of Christ, we can share that with young adults.

You don’t need to be the church down the street; there are plenty of lost people in your community for everyone. You’ll connect with young adults when you are uniquely who God called you to be and the church has clarified its vision.

Being authentic means being genuine, the real thing, 100% unique. Your church needs to be excellent in all it does for the Lord, and that will demonstrate authenticity. For your church to reach young adults, it must involve them in leadership, missions, and discipleship. The church exists today because it reached young adults in the past. Be encouraged that you and your church can reach and engage young adults.

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Dr. PJ Dunn serves the Georgia Baptist Mission Board as a Discipleship consultant.