April 26, 2024
In October of 1980, my beloved and I raced to the state line and got married – against my mother’s wishes. We were 18 and madly in love. She thought we were crazy.
Standing in a courthouse belfry, we repeated vows that sealed us in matrimony: “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” In truth, we had absolutely no clue what the words meant or what lay ahead. We were 18.
There’s a reason certain phrases needed to be included that fateful day. We were high on life (and fear of being caught), but we needed to be reminded that good times were not the only one’s before us.
“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer.” We have been there on many occasions. The “in sickness and in health” part, we are experiencing as I write.
Three weeks ago, my beloved was helping load a van for a mission trip to Neon. The plan was to serve food and assist families with mud-out. Pulling a large cooler filled with ice and water, his right arm made a noise that he knew couldn’t be good. (The guy next to him heard it, too.)
With pain building in his arm, he led the team on to their work site, then caught a ride to the ER. A CT scan revealed a torn bicep and ruptured tendons. He had surgery last week.
Now, as he recuperates, I get to put into action those vows I recited all those years ago. I have the opportunity to serve the one I love in an unexpected way. I have a chance to bless the one who blesses me. I want to do this well.
Since it was his right arm, he is learning to do things differently. Some stuff I’m having to do for him. We each have our way of getting it done – neither right nor wrong. Ultimately, we are working together to get him whole again.
He struggled to breathe especially the day and night after surgery. I’m not going to lie. It’s been scary. I know this could be much worse. I am thankful it is not. There are many who are going through more difficult trials than a torn bicep. Some friends have lost spouses. Others are going through cancer treatments.
I have been reading and writing the important words recorded in 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind. … It is not rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. … It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (I’ve been carrying those words in my pocket.) This is the love I want to show, the love I want to share. He saw me through hip replacement surgery a decade ago; I’d like to return the favor.
When he looks back, I so want my beloved to remember that he was tenderly cared for. I want him to feel blessed during his recuperation. I want him to know that those words spoken so long ago by an 18-year-old bride are more important than ever before.
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Dawn Reed is a pastor's wife and newspaper columnist. Reach her at preacherswife7@yahoo.com.
