September 12, 2024
We received some disappointing news this week. After 19 months of waiting, we received word that Wayne's disability claim was denied.
From everything we had read, we knew that only 10% of claims get approved the first time but I guess we both still had a glimmer of hope that he might be in that "elite" 10% group. We were also disappointed because somehow if he qualified for disability it would have increased our daughter's monthly stipend as well, which would help us financially. (Don't ask me to even explain or understand this.)
We were both a little blah on Monday. On Tuesday morning I was looking at Facebook. I love looking at my memories that show up daily. Sometimes they are pictures of my grandchildren as babies, sometimes trips we have taken, and then at times they are stories or quotes I may have posted. On Tuesday, the memory was a story that I had posted back on August 20 of 2022. I totally believe that the timing of this was just God. Here is what I had written:
God story - short version - sort of. If you don't know our youngest daughter, Missie, has autism along with some other medical issues. We always have tried to place her in the best possible living situations. Our desire has been to move her from the group home she is living in to a much better apartment community that is for disabled adults. We found out this week we were going to need more funds per month than we would be able to afford. We thought we could work out a grant situation, but it just wasn't looking good. To say I went to bed last night discouraged is an understatement. I got up this morning and this quote from the book Draw the Circle was in my memories, so I posted it again. It said "God always has a holy surprise up his sovereign sleeve. And when we pray God throws surprise parties." I then just added "My prayer for today is, 'God, surprise me.'" I texted a friend at 10:02 am saying sometimes life is just heavy. That's all there is to it. It's heavy but not without hope. I told her Wayne and I were praying for peace in this situation and that I would be broken-hearted if it didn't work out. However, I had to believe if this is what God wants it will work out and that it is out of my control and in God's hands. At 10:04 am - 2 minutes later - I received a text from a different friend saying she was sharing our story with a friend of hers (who we don't even know). She said this friend wanted to give us $3,000 towards the care of our daughter. I am amazed and in awe of God. This was a sign for us to TRUST and KNOW - He's got this under control. I trust HIM to provide everything Missie will need in the coming days. God totally surprised us!
I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that God had this reminder for me on this specific day. My human disappointment is not a reflection on God. He has this under control. I have to trust and know it's not up to me. It's just up to God.
When there are hard times and disappointments in our lives, we must remember that God is bigger than both of those. I know all He wants us to do during these times is just turn to Him. Just trust Him. Just run to Him and just leave the control with Him.
I should know by now God is writing my story - not me. I'm thankful when I am weary He reminds me He is still there. "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him. (I Cor. 2:9)." My prayer today is still, "God, continue to surprise me!"
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Jill Johnson, a staff member at the Georgia Baptist Mission Board, finds spiritual applications in her everyday experiences as a wife, mother, grandmother and Georgian. She is available to speak to your church's women's gatherings. Reach her at jjohnson@gabaptist.org.
