October 24, 2024
I must admit that I struggle with people-pleasing. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings, offend them, or devalue them. Honestly, I also don't want people to not like me or think bad of me. I wish I were more like my husband, who when asked if people seemed to like him or respond well to him, always answers, "What's not to like?" He just happens to be a "little" more confident than I am.
I don't necessarily think trying to please others is a bad quality, but it can be a hindrance if I am not allowing Christ to be my reason and focus to please versus just wanting others to like or accept me. I know I must LIVE to please Christ, but I can also strive to please others in the process.
To do this my obedience should be in pleasing God and not for the approval of others. I also must be sure my intent is to point others to Jesus and not my desire to receive credit or be liked by others. Let me explain. First, there is obedience to God. In John 14:15, the Bible says, "If you love Me, keep My commandments." That is pretty straightforward. It doesn't say "if" you have the opportunity to obey God then do it. It doesn't say we should make excuses for our obedience. It is just saying if you love God then keep His commandments.
The only way we know what He expects of us or what His commandments are is to be in the Word, study, and pray. You don't make a best friend the first time you meet someone. You have to get to know them, their ways, their likes, and their dislikes. Once you know these things you share burdens and joys together. You have a history. The same is true with our God.
We can't know Him unless we spend time with Him. You develop a relationship, and then you have a history of walking with Him through life. You learn how to be obedient through your relationship with God. People-pleasing always takes a back seat to obeying and pleasing God - ALWAYS.
If I respond to others in love, then I am obeying God's command. He tells me to love others in the same way He loves me. Love leads to obedience and obedience to God is evidence of our love for Him. I must be a reflection of the love of Christ.
I can't make everyone like me or accept me. It is an impossible task to think I can please everyone. It's much easier for me to focus on loving and obeying God and know that He is in control of the outcome. Ask yourself, "Is what I am doing or saying enabling me to obey God or distracting me from Him?"
The second thing I have to consider is my intent. The definition of intent is "having the mind, attention, or will concentrated on something or some end or purpose." My intent should always be to glorify God in everything - my mind, my attention, my concentration, and my purpose is to glorify Him. Colossians 3:17 says, "Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Our intent should always be to seek God's glory, not our own.
To do this I have to understand this includes every area of my life. My mind has to be set on giving God the glory. My attention has to be on making God known. My purpose has to be to point others to Him. My intent should be to make a big deal out of God because He is the real deal. Whether I am talking to someone or doing something for someone, God should always be the one who gets the glory. Ask yourself, "Is my desire to have everyone like me or have everyone SEE God?"
This "Thursday Thought" might only be for my benefit. I want to be a God-pleaser, not a people-pleaser. Maybe this is just to remind myself that my obedience and intent matter. Always.
As much as I want people to like me, I really want them to LOVE God more. I want others to look at me and say, "What's different about her and how do I get what she has?" I want them to see Christ in me. Who do we want to please? God!
The only real way to have freedom from people-pleasing is to make sure we please God first. I mean, "what's not to love" about a God who sacrificed everything because of His perfect love for us.
___
Jill Johnson, a staff member at the Georgia Baptist Mission Board, finds spiritual applications in her everyday experiences as a wife, mother, grandmother and Georgian. She is available to speak to your church's women's gatherings. Reach her at jjohnson@gabaptist.org.
